004 goes to Octoberfest
by jet777
Summary: (Repost, sorry ch manager was being a brat)Happy Birthday 004! Eat, drink and be merry,but beware of 003 the keg queen! NEW! CH 2 NOW UP!
1. 004 gose to octoberfest

(Re post: Sorry the Ch Manager didn't seem to wanna post the next ch right (sigh))

(Notes: I don't own any of the rights to Cyborg 009)

( In other notes and warnings: There is no glory in heavy drinking. In reality no one likes a drunken slob. Underage drinking is very bad, and no one should drive drunk.)

(Pointless but useful trivia: In Germany there is no drinking age. Anyone of all ages can drink. No underage people don't get any ideas.)

( Sorry one more note: The joke about Lord Pizza is in reference to Gao Gai Gar (A super robot anime, if all the noob fans don't know.) Sodat J/ Lord Pizza looks just like 002 and pretty much is 002 but just in a different anime.)

004 goes to Octoberfest:

"Thirty going on god only knows how many years." Albert thought to himself as he flipped over to the next day on his calendar.

It was a wonderful feeling to spend a nice normal birthday in his homeland rather than going on a mission with the rest of the team. His country had come a long way as so did he in 40 years.

A bit taken off guard, Albert heard a knock on his apartment door. Placing the calendar back on the side table, he checked to see who this unknown vistitor was.

A pleasant suprize awaited him as he opened the door. There stood 002 holding a small wrapped package along with 003 who with a beaming smile proudly held a birthday cake in her hands. One she obviously make herself.

" Happy birthday!" His friends greeted him with joy as they entered his apartment

"Didn't the rest of the team need you on the mission?" Albert questioned, suprized they let so many cyborgs seemingly have the day off.

Francoise replied sweetly as she placed the birthday cake on the table. "No, 009 asked us to please rest up and enjoy the day so we came to visit you. "

However their looks of joy soon tuned to puzzlement as they noticed the way Albert was dressed.

" Um..how come you're dressed so strangely pal?" Jet asked awkwardly handing Albert his gift.

Standing prouly in leatherhousen (sp) and traditional German dress, Albert whisked his hand though his dusty silver hair. " Well..my birthday falls in the middle of Octoberfest and that was where I was on my way too. Would the both of you like to join me?"

Albert dug though his closets for a spare outfit for Jet "I'm sorry Francoise, but I've oviously got nothing for you to wear."

" It's ok Albert. " Francosie's eyes seemed to twinkle at the idea of something like playing dress up. " I'll check the shop next-door for something to wear."

" There's no way I'm gonna dress like ..."Jet bosted against the idea until Albert handed him one of the large tin beer mugs off of his shelf. "... Yosh! Rock on! Lets go now!"

Within minutes, Jet and Albert were ready to go.

Fastening his tin beer mug to his belt, Albert glanced around the room. "Did Francosie come back yet? "

Jet rested his hands behind his head as he leaned against the wall near the window. " You know some girls seem to take forever getting ready and..."

Within what seemed like angel steps of heaven, Francoise entered into the apartment. The site of her made Jet dizzy with excitement as he nearly fell over and out the window. She was simply ravishing in traditional dress looking as if she was a picture of one of those old world beer maids on the beer bottles .Her dress was form fitting, the top held up with a tight leather girdle that pushed up her pirky breasts.Her sleeves hung loose around her shoulders, and instead of her average headband, a crown of small roses lined her hair streamed with several long ribbons.

Francoise shyed away in fear of looking ridiculous. " Um...do all German girls traditionaly dress like this ..?"

Albert tried to help gain her confidence. " You look wonderful my dear. Doesn't she Jet?"

Jet held his hand over his long nose vigorously to trying and hide the blood streaming from his nose down his face. "...Wonderful... would be an understatment..."

Sighing in anoiance but warning, Albert flung a box of tissues at Jet nearly beaming him in the head. "PLEASE, don't cause any comotion on this trip! Now let's catch the bus over to the Octoberfest."

Something inside ready told him this wasn't gonna be the quite birthday he expected.

Ariving at the fest, it seemed like a town carnival with several amusement rides, food stands and many large tents filled with alcohol fueled merry singing people.

Entering one of the many tents, the three cyborg freinds sat at one of the hundred crouded picnic tables and one of the beer maids took their mugs to be filled at the nearest keg.

Stepping a foot up on the table, Jet screamed out to the croud like in a super robot anime. "Let's hear it for Albert's birthday! Now we'll see who the most hard Coors beer king of them all is!"

Albert stepped up to the challenge. "Bring it on Yankee boy!"

Francoise sat in the shadows of their pointless argument as she was handed her first beer.

"Thank you miss. "She said with a candy sweet smile.

An hour passed and Jet slammed his mug against the table with an obnoxious thwack. "SEVEN!"

" NINE!" Albert slammed his mug down in protest.

"Eleven hic! " Jet and Albert looked at each other a bit confused before realization hit them.

" Francosie!" They both screamed in horror as another dainty hiccup escaped her lips.

"Hi! " She drunkenly waved back. "I win! "

" ...But... "Albert's eyes widened as Fraincoise got in his face.

"It's all about you isn't! You're all like women can't do anything but watch the baby... and ...I won... and.. "Fraincoise suddenly plowed into Albert with a huge bear hug nearly knocking him from the bench. " ...And you're my bessseset friend ...ever!"

Jet watched still dumbfounded in shock as Albert tried to escape her grasps.

"Go get some water !" He order to Jet as he finally broke free of Francoise's embrace of death.

"Right!" Jet got up only to stumble over the bench before running off to ask for some water.

Final, Albert got Francoise to sit back down calmly. "You need to drink lots of water to get this out of your system ok..?"

" Ok! "Several other fair guests turned around as Francoise shouted in response.

On cue Jet arived with two bottles of water. Francoise eagerly snatched one of the bottles from Jet's hand and chugged it down.

Nearly out of breath Jet drank his portion. "After a run like that I can use a drink too, but why is this water so bitter?"

However as Jet lifted his bottle, it was then when Albert realized with the lable said. "Nooooo! That's vodka you idiot!"

With a new found bolt of energy, Francoise jumpped up on the table and shouted out with glee. " I LOVEEEEE EVERYONE!"

Albert quickly snatched her from the table top as more people began to turn around in puzzlement. " Francosie..now you need to keep calm and quiet..ok?"

" I DON"T HAVE TO BE QUITE! " Nearly tripping over her own feet, Francoise took off running out of the tent and immediately blended in with the crowds of the festival.

" ... You do know I blame you for making this worse. " Albert could feel the brink of slight anger as Jet put his arm around him.

In stumbling, Jet tripped over his own feet as well fell to the ground. "It's ok Albert...the whole ..every thing in the world is my fault ..but ..I help you cause you're my bestsssesd friend too..I ..love you man, your're awsome...I help you go find franic...somebody."

Staggering to his feet, Jet drunkenly waltzed out of the tent.

Albert sighed nervously as he too set out to search for his dazed and confused comrade. Atleast he didn't have to worry so much about Jet. He was trying to help or atleast he hoped, but so poor Francosie there was no telling what horrible things she could be getting into or what someone could do to her.

No telling indeed because on the other side of the fair a rather large man approached Francoise as she stumbled onto the main events stage at the festival.

"And welcome miss to Open Mic Sunday here at Octoberfest" The bouncy large jolly man handed her a mic. " Is there anything you'd like to sing for us today miss ?"

Eagerly accepting the challenge to perform, francosie couldn't wait to burst into song. " These boots where mades... for walking and... That's just what they'll doOOOOoo..."

In several drunken ballet moves she nearly fell off stage and the chubby host bounced after her taking back the mic. "And that was miss ... um.."

" I'm the Keg Queen! " She screamed back at him.

The chubby host wiped the sweat from his brow. "Um...Ladies and gentlemen. Miss Keg Queen.."

" YEAH! You tell em sister!" Unknowingly Jet was the first to find the missing Francosie.

However standing in the line to buy some brotwurset (sp) seemed more important at the time.

" And next ..!" A rather board man stood with a prong fork taking orders from hunger and or drunk people.

"O yeah.. that would be me. " Jet stumbled forward in line cutting off a few other guests. "I would like one footlong and some beer nuts...with the extra beer...and nuts. "

"Right..." The board but annoyed man continued on. "Would you like something to drink with that?"

Nearly getting in the mans face he spat back his his answer. "Do not threaten... ME!... I'm Lord Pizza! "

" Right ..." Quickly to get Jet out of his way the busy cook gave him his food in hopes he would leave soon and not disrupt any more bussness.

Pushing back though the crowds Jet ran into a familiar face. " FRANCOSIE!"

Lots of drunken hugs sealed the gaps between times lost.

Suddenly, he came up with the idea of a life time. "Let's go on the Tilta- Whirl... and rember the good old times..."

" Ok!" She proudly announced as the made their way though the crowded midway singing.

" Memoires..."

Meanwhile but not far behind, Albert ran franticly though the mobs of people.

"Have you seen this beautiful girl with golden blond hair and this guy with a huge nose ?" Asking each person no stone could be left unturned. "Have you!"

Finally one angery lady stepped forward. "Yeah I saw those two jerks! They were on the Titla- Whirl flinging beer nuts at people in the crowd."

Sure enough as he made his way over it was them.

"200 points if you hit the bald guy. "In uncontrollable fits of laughter, Jet beamed the poor bald man in the head.

"No you said if I..hits him. " Taking a handful, Francoise threw a shower over the unsuspecting man as the ride twirled in circles. " 900..69..003..points!"

As soon as the ride stopped, Albert stormmed the gates dragging his drunkned freinds off the ride." WE're going HOME NOW!"

( to be continued)

After all there's still the trip home ...


	2. The most inteligent conversation

Notes: I don't own any of the rights to Cyborg 009)

(Author's notes: Thank you for the warm response on this fic and a few of my other fics recently. This really and truly means alot. Thank you one and all for the suport! )

( Notes need for the story: the song at the end of the fic is the opening from "Cheers"

The most intelligent conversation on earth:

When we last left 004, he was left with now two incredibly drunken heroes tormenting unsuspecting people with beer nuts. In having enough birthday excitement for one day, 004 decided then and there that it was time they left for home. In his poor defense, this will be the longest trip home in his life.

As if it there wasn't enough commotion dragging Jet and Francoise practically kicking and screeming off the Tilta- Wirl, it was trying to find that damn bus stop.

He thanked his lucky stars he gave the tickets the most responsible one out of all of them.

" Francoise?...Now you still have the tickets for the bus .. right?" He felt a small grain of gilt in seeming like he was talking down to her, but it felt like now the only way her and Jet would listen is if someone explained things very slowly to them.

" Yeah!" Francosie stumbled into Albert's arms in a drunken daze falling almost too close for confort as the trio came to a stop at the designated area for the bus back.

Albert helped stand her up straight before people close by noticed just how drunk they really were. Thankful the bus was running regularly dew to the festival and almost as soon as they came to the stop a downtown bus rumbled and putted it's way to the stop. The doors squeeked opened and people began to clammer in.

"Tickets please." The driver asked as they were the last to get on.

Poking at Francoise who was now hanging off his arm. "Where's the tickets?"

Glancing up at Albert from her drunken daze, her smile said it all ."O... I gave those to Jet..."

Strikes of fear grazed though Albert he already knew what Jet's answer would be.

" What...?" Jet gave up hugging the bus stop sign and staggered over to the bus." Humm... Lets see .. I lost those a long time ago ..."

In hearing Jet's answer the bus door coldly closed shut and drove off towards it's destination.

Dumbfound, Albert watched the bus drive off into the sunset as Francoise and Jet waved it bye and on it's merry way.

Now frustration was beginning to set in with him. "You ass ! How could you loose our way home!"

" I don't know..?" Jet shot back his answer followed by a fit of laughter.

"Now ..we'll just have to walk home." Taking a few steps, Albert began to heard his friends home.

Not one block had passed before someone decided to break out in another fit of commotion.

"HEY LOOK NO ONE IS AROUND! " Jet screamed so loud at the top of his lungs that his voice bounced off the buildings near by. "I CAN FLY!"

Before Albert could stop him, Jet was running down the street. With an almost tripping kick of the heals, he was off on a drunken flight to no place. Flying low enough that he was just above Albert's head but just high enough to piss him off.

" Get back down here ! " Albert jumped furiously trying to catch him like a small child trying to catch butterflies in a field "What if normal people see some guy flying down the street! How do you think I can exsplane that?"

Just as poor Albert was starting to get tired, fate would have it his way as Jet scarped against the ground several times and collided with a brick wall in a nearby alleyway

Collapsing to his knees after Jet's fall, Albert finally caught his breath but another thought crossed his mind.

"Where's francoise!"

With her face pressed close up against the same wall where the great Jet crashed and burned, stood Francosie intently starring into the red bricks. Something on the other side of that wall must have been extremely interesting.

Walling out of the ally where they stood, Albert walked to the front of the building to read the sign of whatever business was there.

"Von Gutten's Men's Gym."

Walking back around of the alleyway he confounded the now mumbling lady. " My...He's so "huge!"...and that other guy has a reason to hold his towel over his..."

Albert grit his teeth in discust. Oviously, the portion of the brick wall she was starring into on the other side was the shower room.

" Francosie! " In calling out to her he managed to gain her atention.

" Huh.." As she looked him over her eyes seemed to adjust elseware. " ... My...you're wepons are...is very nicely "equipped"."

Albert blushed deep crimson in her remarks. " Stop scanning dude's shlongs with your powers!"

Finally, if not forgotten about, Jet awoke from his impact but never seemed to miss a beat from the previous events. " NOw!...where was..I ... o yeah...USA ROCKS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOO!"

Francoise's eyes grew wide with joy as she intently starred at Jet.

"SHHHHHHHH!" In a panic, Albert waved his hands franticly in trying to gain their attention. "Do you want to get the cops over here!"

As if on cue, one cop came strolling down the ally.

"Is there a problem here today sirs and madam? "The officer leered into Albert with questions.He tried to remain calm but fears still remained into him in rember the German cops from his time. From the way the officer looked, this was no cop to be messed with. He looked strick and by the book and if you messed around he would take you downtown in an instant.

Albert kept his cool but it was obvious that his other two companions were not up to par." Everything is just fine officer. We're just on our way home."

With lightening speed, Jet was eye to eye with the officer's badge as he carefully read it over. "...Officer..Miller...HEY ! IT'S OFFICER MILLER LIGHT!"

Then it was guaranteed Francoise would have to chime in with a comment. " ...I..wanna be one of the girls on the beer ad...I'm pretty ..do you think I'm hot officer?

Albert began to sweat in panic " um..."

It only took seconds to cuff all three and it was off to the station lock up at the Berlin police station.

Albert rested his head against the cold steel bars. Somehow the cold steal felt good for his headache. This was in no way how he planned to spend his birthday.

" Making your way in the world today takes... eabree thing... you got..." His friend's symphony of drunken off key song was slowly driving into madness.

Finally he had it. " WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!"

Suprizingly, they did and Albert tore into them. " Do you think this was how I planned to spend my birthday? Chasing after the both you. DRUNK! and then getting arrested!

We're suposed to act NORAML and blend in with NORAML people QUITELY! I planned to have a quite birthday, go to octoberfest, have a FEW beers and then come home!"

When his words did their damage, tears seemed to form in his friends eyes. Tears that cut like a knife though his heart.

Francoise's innocent words set his feelings straight. "Atleast we're all together..."

She was right they where all together and there was still time in his birthday left. Hell they would be here all night.

Sitting down next to his friends against the cold gray brick wall of his cell, Albert began to sing. It wasn't long before Jet and Francoise joined him in another happy drunken chorus. "Making your way in the world today takes ...eabree thing you've got!"

" You gotta go where eabreebody knows your name ..."

As night in jail turned to day, the three friends awoke form the drunken heap they where cuddled in to the opening of their cell and the painful smack of sunlight. "Someone's posted your bail. You're free to go."

" Ah god my head..." Jet crawled to his knees feeling slightly dizzy but the pounding headacke made things worse.

Getting up as well, Albert helped Francoise to her feet who complained of the world spinning.

Walking out to the precint lobby, Joe, oviously not impressed with events was waiting for them. He was the kind one who posed them bail.

Joe embraced Francoise in his arms. Feeling her sink in his arms, his wonderment in the story of what happend turned to anger.

"It's nice to see you again..." Francosie winced at the slights bit of a tighter grip around her. Every contact with life made her head spin out of control. "...I feel like I wanna throw up..."

"What did you do to her...?" Setting his beloved down to rest, instantly Joe figured the blame had to rest with the one person who's fault always seemed to lie in outrageous situations. " JET!"

lunging in anger, Joe was ready to take out his frustrations when Albert stepped in his way. Jet still wincing in horrible pain from the ecco though the halls of Joe's voice.

" He's not the one at fault." Albert stood firmly in taking control of the situation feeling like his old self again, even though his head hurt like hammers beat him too. Letting out a soft sigh he continued on. "...It's really all our faults. I'll explain on the way home."

All was quite after a long and unbelievable story told, things seemed to calm down and almost go back to normal. Albert collapsed in his favorite chair by the small table in his living room, however looking over at the small table Albert realized that in all their rush he never opened his gift.

Picking the small package up, he tore away at the decorative wrapping. What was behind the paper held more meaning than any one day could hold. The tiny gift was picture of him, 002 and 003 standing in front of the dolphin ship in a hand built wood frame. Jet must have made the frame, but also on the frame were small delicately painted words that where inscribed "Our best friend."

Albert set the picture frame on the table next to his calendar. Why next to the calendar? Because, true friendship passes though the test of time and also friendship grows deeper with each and every bump or acts of crazy events in the road.

The End


End file.
